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Living to Forgive

January 26, 2026 at 3:47 PM Leave a comment

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My father-in-law lived in assisted living at the end of his life. In fact, it’s the same one my mother-in-law was living where she passed into eternity on the morning of January 26, 2026.

My wife’s father had learned something remarkable toward the end of his life that he deliberately chose to live by on a daily basis. This enabled him to love people as he had not loved people before. He came to understand what it meant to forgive people. He realized it was pointless to hold a grudge. Why? Because our great God does not hold a grudge!

My wife’s father once told my wife at the end of his days that we should forgive daily. It is also interesting to note that he was cheerful, happy and contented and passed peacefully into eternity. He had found peace and security in doing what God had done for him – forgiving people as a pursuit.

We’ve all likely had situations in our lives where we felt offended by what someone did or said to us. It can easily cause sadness within us, then by dwelling on it, we might become incensed, then upset, withdrawn and even angry. The weirdest part? I knew at those times that I was wrong in my attitude but my indignation gained the upper hand.

During those times, I thought I was honestly trying to give it over to God, but usually spent more time focusing on the harsh words or actions of the other person. I’d pray. I tried to talk to the person to sort things out, but sometimes it made it worse, simply because I was trying to cater to self. I knew that Satan was having a field day and creating a huge wedge between me and the other person. Finally, as I continued to pray about the situation, God seemed to show me what should have been obvious; what the exact problem was and when I saw it, I had to fully agree.

In short, I was simply not forgiving the other person as God has and continues to forgive me. I’ve often wondered if I can go through a day without sinning; an unkind thought or word or an action that puffs me up and tears down someone else?

We go through life too often thinking that we don’t have that many issues, that our sins are not that great (compared to others), that by and large, we are pretty good. After all, if we are saved, we are justified. Once justified, we enter into a lifelong sanctification process of being conformed to Jesus’ character. Well, that fact alone should tell us that we wouldn’t need that sanctification process unless there is a good deal of things that God needs to work within us to change in order that He would be fully glorified within us.

Not one Christian can truthfully say “I’ve arrived! I am perfected! I am sinless!” It does not happen in this life. It simply does not and I’m quite aware of the verses that are pointed to by those who believe they have arrived to a state of sinless perfection. Unfortunately, they are missing the context and the context includes the original Koine Greek language that doesn’t quite translate perfectly to English in numerous cases.

So if the remainder of my life after I become a Christian (justified by God), is taken up by the extended process of sanctification, then clearly, I have many things that need work in my life. Just because I am positionally justified by God for what He has done for me in Jesus and for my belief in what He has done, does not mean that I am done with the process of sanctification, like a 3-minute egg.

We’ve all heard the saying that God is love, which is biblical truth (1 John 4:8). We understand it to some degree. But what is the evidence of His love for us? Obviously, it is in the life, death, and resurrection of the perfect, sinless GodMan in Jesus. He loved and loves humanity so much that He did what He did in order that we might have the opportunity to receive the only salvation that is available. What does that salvation mean? Among other things it means we are fully forgiven for all the sin in our life – past, present and future. Certainly, we need to be willing to confess our sin and repent when it happens, but He faithfully applies His compassionate and continued forgiveness.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 ESV)

Because of who God is, His great love for us and His willingness to forgive us for all the offences we have committed, are committing and will commit against Him, a great portion of that salvation is the ongoing forgiveness He extends to us. He did not have to do that, yet He did. How can we not offer quick and total forgiveness from the heart to those who harm us in one way or another?

So can we say that a good portion of our relationship with God is based upon His constant forgiveness of us? You bet we can say that because it is true, throughout Scripture. Forgiveness is truly the central theme of the Gospel, is it not?

If this is true, then how can I not forgive anyone who “sins” against me (whether real or perceived)? How can I audaciously and callously not imitate Jesus in the way He forgives me by not quickly forgiving others?

I will go one step further, if I may. Today, I hear a good deal about spiritual disciplines as a means of drawing closer to God in Christ. But why is it we so often ignore the need to forgive as God forgives us? Why is that? We adopt all sorts of “practices” that we hope will more fully align us with God and His will, but are they more than simply checklists?

There are all sorts of ways people try to get “close” to God today. All of us want to know God better and many have come up with “checklists” (the aforementioned spiritual disciplines), designed to make that happen. When I love my wife am I referring to a list I check off or do I simply do or say what is reflective of the way I feel about her because I already love her?

Imagine if I carried a list around and went through my days checking items off on that list? Let’s see, did I kiss my wife this morning? Check. Did I tell her I love her? Check. Did I make her a cup of coffee? Check. Did I spend an adequate amount of time thinking about her and considering her? Check. Something like this would become ridiculous and legalistic. Yet, those who support and push spiritual disciplines have defined it to the nth degree and for many, the subject has become largely mystical in the approach to knowing God.

Now, please don’t get me wrong, reading His Word, contemplating it, memorizing it and praying it to Him throughout the day is needed and maybe it’s not done enough. The problem occurs when those things take the place of our actual spontaneous love for God and a desire to live as He wants us to live (obedience).

Here’s a question that came to my mind recently and it forces me to consider my attitude and demeanor toward my wife and others (even those whom I might consider “unlovable” or “annoying”).

How will anyone see God within me if I cannot see what God sees in THEM?

Not one of us deserves to be saved. Not one of us is saved because God saw us and thought, “Wow, there’s a guy/gal who really has it going on and I think I’d like him/her in my family.” In fact, the people that God essentially goes after are the very ones society often rejects. Just consider the wedding parable of Matthew 22:1-14, where the king invited all his friends. One by one they offered excuses as to why they could not attend his son’s wedding. So what does the king do? He destroyed those who would not attend and told his servants to go out everywhere and find people to fill up the banquet hall for his son’s wedding.

Jesus Himself often hung around or dined with “sinners and tax collectors”; average people who were not necessarily the cream of the crop. Yet, Jesus dined with them because the rulers – scribes and Pharisees – thought too highly of themselves to “dirty” themselves by associating with the common person.

I’m one of those common people. You are one of those common people. Jesus was able to be around those common people because of His great love for them. He also knew what He was going to accomplish on their behalf and that their forgiveness wasn’t that far away, if they were willing to receive and embrace it.

In another example, consider Jesus with the woman at the well (John 4:1-42). Jesus, according to Jewish custom, was not even supposed to be speaking to her because she was a Samaritan (v9). Yet, He did. He cared. He had compassion. He looked beyond her sins and problems to the whole person. Seeing what He saw did not keep Him from talking to her and trying to help her understand who He was and she ultimately saw Him as Messiah as the text relates. In fact, it was likely due to her issues and problems that Jesus extended compassion toward her.

Moreover, she became an evangelist for Him and immediately went and told others in her area about Jesus. This was all because Jesus took the time to see that this Samaritan woman was valuable and needed salvation, just as we are valuable to God and need salvation. Why are we valuable? Because we are made by God in His image!

I am becoming more convinced that we cannot forgive others more than God forgives us. The more we forgive others, the more we actually become more like God at least in character. I personally do not believe we can forgive as much as God forgives us, but it is certainly something to shoot for and in fact, I believe that forgiveness from the heart is probably one of the best spiritual disciplines we can adopt.

If we learn to truly forgive routinely, from the heart, we are doing more to engender God’s grace in and through us than many other “disciplines” we might try to put into effect. True forgiveness is a main way of showing our love for God and others. It creates momentum so that relationships are not sidelined and instead grow in grace. It imitates God just as He refuses to remember our sins anymore (Jeremiah 31:34). He chooses to do that and so should we! It means when we truly forgive, we are no longer interested in keeping anyone’s sins against us in our front view mirror. We deliberately throw them behind us even though we might never forget them.

Isaiah 43:25 tells us God will blot out our sins for His sake. He does this to deliberately never call up our sins against us ever again! Do we do that? Do we make an effort to do the same?

If we are in fact, believers, we must emulate God, who blots out our sins and deliberately chooses to never bring them up again. If we say we follow Jesus, we must do no less.

Entry filed under: christianity, Religious - Christian - Prophecy, Religious - Christian - Theology, salvation, sanctification. Tags: forgiveness, living to forgive.